24/06/18: Hot Totteridge

It was way too warm to walk very far. This summer has barely started and it seems to be the hottest in years. The grass is already yellow and the brook is down to a minimalist trickle. Other people enjoy the sultry conditions more than I do: there were two young couples enjoying the relative privacy of the field, with one pair getting quite “frisky”, so I had to change my route quickly to avoid walking right past them.

I found a fresh white golf ball and tried to throw it back onto the golf course, although I think it bounced off a tree instead.

I met a small ginger cat and was howled at by a big black dog. A bunch of people on deckchairs were having a picnic. There seemed too many of them for it to be a family event. Perhaps it was a church social meeting or something like that.

Miles walked: 1.85
Cats spotted: 1

10/06/18: Death and madness

Totteridge to Woodside Park along the river.

There was dragonfly lying dead on its back on the path – not something you see every day. There was also a dead pigeon at the side of road.

A female walker went past wearing a T-shirt with the slogan “Blisters are in this year”.

At the café, I drank some strong coffee – not silly old decaf, for once.

On the walk back, a strange man pointed at a coat left next to a bin and said “There’s a straitjacket.” Maybe he could have used it...

Miles walked: 3.28
Cats spotted: 2

21/05/18: Totteridge 4.75-miler

Having found myself a new job, I knew this would be my last morning walk for a while. A fox lying dead at the roadside – startling and beautiful – seemed a bad omen. As well as the usual roar of traffic, Totteridge Village had a strange smell of sewage. A girl on a passing bus was wearing a Game of Thrones T-shirt. By Dollis Brook, I saw a heron fly over. As always, I marvelled at its dinosaur-like quality. No hat and no “good morning” greetings suggested that the two are indeed related.

Back to work tomorrow. On 36 walks during this period between jobs I covered 134.49 miles. I will miss doing this every day.

09/05/18: Totteridge

Three "good morning" greetings, one from my neighbour wearing a Stranglers T-shirt.

07/05/18: Totteridge 4.8-miler

Another scorcher. I put on my silly £1 hat bought on Saturday for Sunday’s Big Fun Walk, and headed up into the village. It was already too hot.

With the roar of traffic passing St. Andrew’s Church I wondered how it was possible for the people buried in the graveyard by the road to rest in peace.

It’s nice when people say “good morning”, especially since this didn’t happen a couple of miles down the road in Finchley. In fact, I got more “good morning” greetings than usual – perhaps a result of the silly hat.

06/05/18: Big Fun Walk for North London Hospice (East Finchley to Westminster)

It was our third year running for this charity event.

We remembered the registration wristbands this time and made a good start at East Finchley tube, armed with the usual nylon drawstring bag, biscuits, bottle of water and route map.

We collected sandwiches and an apple in Cherry Tree Wood, then began the long trek through Highgate Wood, Highgate itself (past the Alms House and Highgate School) and then into Hampstead Heath.



At Parliament Hill we were talking about people who have never seen Star Wars, when a passing woman – also doing the Big Fun Walk – chipped in to proudly announce that she’d never seen Star Wars.

It was really hot already. My daughter, in a moment of bad temper, threw a section of her cheese sandwich at my son. It missed and landed on the path. I told her off and said she shouldn’t leave litter on the floor. She picked it up and carried on eating it.

We continued in the direction of Belsize Park and Primrose Hill, following the other green bags and wristbands.


One advantage of having done this twice before was knowing the route. In fact, the route was slightly changed – and much improved – by a scenic detour along the canal before entering Regent’s Park. This was in order to avoid another event, but it had the benefit of making the walk a proper 10 miles rather than the 9.6 miles of previous years.

I chatted to a nice lady who was doing this for the first time and we walked together for a bit. She also had a walking app, but hers was actually “talking” to her – emitting from her belt were sporadic announcements about her speed and distance.


There was an embarrassing moment at the park inner circle when I was asked where the toilets were and sent another walker in what turned out to be the wrong direction. I had to avoid her for the rest of the morning.

I always dislike the Baker Street part of the route. It’s too noisy and crowded. We saw a few people going the wrong way at the George Street junction (too far ahead for us to alert them), and there wasn’t a North London Hospice marshal to advise. Things improve when you finally hit Hyde Park.

We managed to go slightly off-piste ourselves at Buckingham Palace – perhaps confused by the thousands of tourists and selfie sticks – somehow coming out on the other side of St. James’s Park Lake.


A man held a pigeon in his hands for a photo opportunity – appropriately enough, this was on Birdcage Walk.

We finished with a time of 3 hours 21 minutes. This was sadly much slower than last year, but it had been far hotter and the distance slightly greater.

At Storey's Gate, Westminster, we went through the balloon arch that marks the finish line and were awarded our medals. Of 1,350 registered walkers (up on last year), we were in the first 15.


There were biscuits, bottles of water and hot drinks. Plus, the NLH team were unloading the uneaten sandwiches from Cherry Tree Wood.

I met up with the app lady again and we compared distances. She had also got a bit lost, but had it logged as 17 kilometres.

A jazz band played and we sat on the grass. As always, a lovely way to spend the morning.




Miles walked: 10.17
Cats spotted: 0

26/04/18: Totteridge 4.16-miler

Another walk with the early birds. It was freezing in the shade and “scorchio” in the sun.

A man walking his dog wasn’t happy when a nearby woman’s dog came over to be sociable. He yelled at the woman: “Are you gonna f*#%ing call your dog or what?”

A long-haired girl on her way to school used her phone’s selfie camera to check on her looks.

On the cycle path, cyclists zoomed past me with alarming and dangerous proximity.

A beagle called Barney howled at me.

The abandoned car is now upside down.

24/04/18: Totteridge 4.74-miler

1. Pigeon
2. Duck
3. Magpie
4. Parakeet
5. Blue tit
6. Robin
7. Crow
8. Blackbird
9. Sparrow

Saw the woman with the sling again. Saw a woman in a straw hat walking two dogs and taking her morning mug of coffee with her. Very civilised.

20/04/18: Totteridge 4.34-miler

As I walked along Dollis Brook, there was a constant chorus of birdsong: they were clearly delighted at the change of seasons. Like yesterday, it was unusually warm – we seem to have skipped spring (after a long winter) and lurched straight into summer. The temperature was already into the twenties and it was still early. I saw joggers (perhaps preparing for this weekend’s London Marathon), a woman with an arm in a sling, and plenty of dog walkers. A walker with a German Shepherd dog wore a German Shepherd dog T-shirt. The abandoned car had finally been moved of the field, leaving a rectangle of lighter-coloured grass where it had stood. I saw blackbirds, crows, magpies, parakeets, pigeons and robins, but not the herons or grebes sometimes visible by the water. Miles walked: 4.34 Cats spotted: 0

15/04/18: Totteridge 4.54-miler

Many cyclists. One horse on the cycle path. I had to step out of the way and onto the muddy verge as the rider told me there were cyclists oncoming. Indeed, they swished past at the very last moment. The brave horse kept its composure.

The abandoned car is still there in the field by the brook, but now it has been graffitied and all the windows smashed in. There is a sticker on the front saying that it's being monitored and will be removed.

The weather is really warming up now. I certainly didn’t need my big black coat.

Miles walked: 4.54
Cats spotted: 1

05/04/18: Whetstone to Woodside Park

Walked to the Vero café in Woodside Park, counting birds along the river. Saw the following:
1. Robin
3. Wading bird with red beak
4. Magpie
5. Pigeon
6. Crow
7. Blue tit
8. Wren
9. Parakeet
10. Duck
11. Pied wagtail(?) – on an aerial above a house, so hard to tell for sure.

Heard others (pretty sure there was a blackbird singing in a tree), but they had to be seen to make the list.

A chinook flew over.

We saw a dead crow, lying upside down on the grass.

Back in Whetstone, we were passed by four police motorbikes in a hurry.

Miles walked: 3.18
Cats spotted: 0

03/04/18: Totteridge three-miler

Tot three-miler – a cut down version of THIS walk. To sustain interest, we counted bird types and saw only seven:
1. Robin
2. Pigeon
3. Magpie
4. Crow
5. Blackbird
6. Blue tit
7. Parakeet

Miles walked: 3
Cats spotted: 0

01/04/18: Totteridge four-miler

We walked up to Totteridge village, discussing how well this location would work as a film set for an olde-worlde "costumer". I saw two used contraceptives, suggesting that spring is in the air. Grange Avenue took us down onto the footpath, where we were followed by a clever little robin who was clearly hoping we'd feed him. We took the London Loop path back in the direction of the Barnet Table Tennis Centre and met "Mick", a border terrier, and his friendly owner. There were two goldfinches flitting between the bushes prettily. The walk back along the river path was marred only by the mess that has been made by contractors replacing some pipes. Big piles of mud and clay remain dumped there after several months, and the metal fences erected around them are still sitting around.

Miles walked: 4
Cats spotted: 1

05/03/18: East Finchley to Whetstone

My birthday. Took the day off work and went via bus to the Phoenix Cinema in East Finchley to see Lady Bird. It’s a touching, emotional film about growing up, about a mother-daughter relationship, about friendship, about identity, and about where you come from and where you’re going. There are many funny moments and some deeply poignant ones. Particularly good is Laurie Metcalf as the main character’s mother.

Deciding to walk home, I left East Finchley along the main road, past the library, past Alan’s Record Shop and over the flyover that crosses the noisy North Circular, then up the ridiculously titled Leisure Way.

I walked past the Hollywood Bowl and the Vue Cinema, and there was a strong smell of marijuana lingering in the air – like Camden Town on a summer evening. I walked up into North Finchley, trying not to be put off by the constant roar of traffic.

There was litter everywhere: beer cans, bits of cars, bits of pizza, broken biros, broken umbrellas, cigarette butts, cigarette packets, coffee cups, coffee cup lids, Coke cans, crisp packets, drinking straws, exploded fruit juice cartons, food packaging, fried-chicken boxes, lost gloves, McDonald’s wrappers, plastic bags, plastic bottles, plastic bottle lids, soggy cardboard, sweet wrappers and two bottles of glue.

What a horrible mess we have made of this country. I’d like to think there's still time to fix this problem – all you need is a forward-thinking government. Is that too much to ask?

In North Finchley, I couldn't resist going in a few charity shops. In North London Hospice I bought a £1 DVD (Bill Forsyth's 1983 masterpiece Local Hero, which I have been looking for for a long time), and in Cancer Research I bought a couple of CDs.

From North Finchley to Whetstone I was walking in medium-to-heavy rain, but it was quite refreshing because I had got hot wearing too many clothes following the "snowpocalypse" of last week.

Miles walked: 3.59
Cats spotted: 0

26/12/17: Totteridge and Woodside Park

Walked a round trip from the Orange Tree pub via the stables and back through Woodside Park. Lots of new graffiti, possibly with an anti-capitalist slant. My favourite, though, was the "50p Lollies" chalked on the school wall.

Miles walked: 3.63

Cats spotted: 0

25/12/17: Kenwood to Parliament Hill

A Christmas walk from Kenwood (café closed) to Parliament Hill (café closed). 

There were plenty of dogs, as usual. One had a leg in a splint. His friendly owner said he was a one-year-old called Bert and that he'd run into a car. He looked cheerful enough, though, and was enjoying the walk.

There were hardy swimmers diving into the icy lake to the sounds of a trumpet playing a slightly wonky "Silent Night". A small crowd had gathered on the other side of the water to watch. 

Miles walked: 3.38

Cats spotted: 0

24/12/17: Totteridge

A short walk around Totteridge in the direction of the Orange Tree pub. Having been off work for only two days, I was dismayed to find myself quickly out of breath. Sadly, I saw a dead creature in the road. I thought it might be a fox, but closer examination of the mangled remains revealed it to be black cat. Not a happy Christmas for him.

The highlight of the walk, once I got away from the noisy traffic, was hearing a chorus of birds singing from a high tree – a reminder that life goes on.

Miles walked: 1.63
Cats spotted: 1 (deceased)

22/12/17: Totteridge to North Finchley

In the alleyway, a pretty black-and-white cat was startled by a dog and leapt onto the top of the fence with impressive speed and agility. (1) My own cat isn't capable of such feats.
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The journey was enlivened by debate over the merits of Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, which was highly entertaining – whatever the orchestrated social-media backlash might tell you.

In North Finchley, some men in ludicrous festive suits climbed out of a black van. Possibly they were going to give a concert. (2)
2:

Eight charity shops later, I walked home ready for lunch.


Miles walked: 3.25
Cats spotted: 2

19/11/17: Mobile in Totteridge

In Totteridge, at the start of my local four-miler, an American woman wearing a fake fur coat and riding a bicycle stopped me and asked if I could make a phone call for her. After much confusion about the number, which she had scribbled on a tiny scrap of paper, I dialled and handed her my mobile. No answer. Tried again and handed it to her, saying – only slightly joking – that I hoped she wouldn't run off with it. She said she wouldn't, then dialled again. When her friend answered, she entered into a lengthy chat about social arrangements with no urgency whatsoever. She should really have prefaced it with "I've borrowed someone's phone so I have to keep this short", but instead was chatting away happily. It was cold standing there in the street and I said "Listen, I really need to go." She wound up the call, gave back the phone and we said goodbye. I walked away, then she started cycling after me, offering to pay for the call. I said there was no need, then she wheeled off happily to meet her friend.

15/10/17: Totteridge to Finchley Nurseries Garden Centre (again)

We walked over the open fields of Totteridge (1) to Finchley Nurseries Garden Centre. Saw one dead rabbit, which looked like it was just sleeping. Also saw a sinister pile of something with a feather sticking out of it. (2)
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A friendly cat was happy to be talked to and spoke back with a kittenish, high-pitched miaow. (3)
3:

In the garden centre, they were doing good business with pumpkins. (4–5)
4:

 5:

There were three more cats. Amber was asleep on a table of flowers. (6) The grumpy black cat was stalking around the "perennial tunnel" and then slinking into the shop (7) so I kept clear of him. A doddery old black-and-white cat was sleeping on the roof of the aquatic centre, but stirred himself just to be sociable. (8–9) I picked him up and made friends. The staff later revealed that he was the grumpy cat, not the all-black puss I had avoided. (Should have remembered that from HERE.)
6:

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 8–9:

We went in search of Max's grave round the back of the big greenhouses. Max was a big, tough tabby who used to sleep in a box in the shop window. The staff had made a touching grave marker for him, but it was nowhere to be seen – perhaps relocated to another part of the premises or grown over already. 

We had toasted sandwiches and coffee on the lawn outside the café, with soppy dogs yelping at their owners, parakeets flying over and goldfinches eating from the bird-feeders.

We walked back through the "rat poison" field and past the deserted barn. It was warm but distinctly autumnal.

Miles walked: 3.07

Cats spotted: 4

30/09/17: How to destroy a library

I walked the three-mile round trip to North Finchley Library. Since I last went, they have pretty much finished it off.

In place of any staff is a single security guard. In place of a welcoming open door is a PIN-coded entrance gate that would not let me through. With the help of the security guard, I got in, but then had to fill out a form to request future access.

The new version of the old library is empty, lonely and a little scary. It's certainly not a place you want to hang around in.

All music CDs are gone. The three I tried to return came up on the machine as "unknown item detected / return failed", so I could not give them back. But I'm sure they'll be happy to fine me for overdue items anyway.

It's for matters like this that a member of staff would have been useful, but of course they have all been sacked or had their hours cut.

I had to leave the CDs at the vacant desk with a handwritten note and hope that someone will check them in later. Pathetic.

The children's library room now looks like this:

I was told that it has been sold off. So will we be refunded the taxes we paid for it? I don't think so.

The "teen zone" area is also gone. Funny how the next generation has to suffer for decisions made by inconsiderate adults.

There were some signs up, but they made little sense:

It's absolutely criminal what Barnet council are getting away with. The library service I took for granted as a child has been all but destroyed for the next generation. And why? Because of greed.

Forget literacy. Forget education. Forget community. It's all about the money. And yet we are all so much poorer for these terrible decisions.